


Comfort Crowd

by queerest_avenger



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Bad coping mechanisms, Casual Sex, F/M, Other, Swearing, bi!Reader, use of alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 10:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21492868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerest_avenger/pseuds/queerest_avenger
Summary: You and Shawn haven’t been a couple for months. Self-destruction is the only way you know how to cope.
Relationships: Shawn Mendes/ Reader
Kudos: 6





	Comfort Crowd

**Author's Note:**

> I definitely don’t want to be the person who writes a character where they go down hill because of a partner, but I’m doing it for this story. Also, I’ve never been in this type of situation after a breakup.

You had been frequenting bars with your friends more than you liked to admit. Most of the ones you would have never considered. Late nights spent knocking back several drinks you’ve never heard of just to get him out of your head. It all ways ended up with a stranger in your bed or vice versa at the end of the night. You hadn’t seen or heard from Shawn in months. You unfollowed him on all social media platforms after the breakup up and you tried your hardest to forget he ever existed. But, whatever cruel fate the gods had planned for you; that wasn’t one them. God herself must’ve been looking down on your queer, pathetic vessel you called a body and thought to herself: “you fucking thought, bitch.” No matter what you did, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get away from him. Who were you kidding?! He’s Shawn-mother-fucking-Mendes! His face was everywhere. From your friends' phones to gracing the front pages of magazines as ‘America's heartthrob’. Tonight was no exception as you found yourself on a warn out booth surrounded by your friends at a local gay bar in downtown Toronto. They yelled and laughed amongst themselves as you took another swig of your drink, wincing as it burned your throat.

You thought as many nights you've found yourself looking at the bottom of empty bottles, You'd be used to the taste by now. You also thought coming out with your friends would've gotten the popstar off your mind too. But oh, how you were proven wrong yet again. You were zoned out, staring at a wall at the back of the bar when your friend, Tara shoved her manicured covered phone in your face. "(Y/N), you need to see this!" Tara exclaimed. You moved your unfocused gaze back to where her hand was. What you saw definitely wasn't what you needed right now.

The picture was of Shawn cosied up next to a beautiful ginger. She was pulled in real close, Shawn flashing that smile you thought was only reserved for you, looking like Adonis. "Ah, fuck!" you exclaimed, running your hands down your face. You looked back up at Tara, the dim, purple lighting hitting her dark skin was a salient contrast to her bubblegum pink finger waves. She sighed, "I'm sorry, girl, but you've got to get over him. He sure has!"

You groaned in response. You knew Tara meant well. She all ways did, but right now she wasn't helping in the slightest. Of course, you weren't surprised he had all ready moved on. You don't blame him with the way you had handled things. Shawn didn't cheat. That wasn't why you ended things. No, he'd never do that to you. You had gotten to the point where you couldn't stand that he was away for several months. Couldn't stand that you couldn't have the tall, vibrant man all to yourself. Calling and FaceTiming him wasn't the same as having him in person. Being intimate with him, having all of him. Phone sex just didn't cut it. You also grew tired of not being able to have privacy anytime the two of you were seen out and you definitely couldn't take the harassment you got from some of his so-called fans. You knew what you were getting into when you started dating. You knew that all of this came with Shawn's career. In retrospect, you thought you could take on the world with Shawn by your side. Thought you could take all the shit weighing down on him and make it yours. Thought you loved him enough to not let it get to you. But, unfortunately, it just wore you down. You knew it probably wasn't justified and it was selfish. Shawn had gotten back from the last leg of his European tour when you decided to break things off. Shawn had wanted to make it work. He had begged you to stay, hadn’t known what he did wrong. cheeks red and tear streaked; voice hoarse from the crying. You only made things worse by starting a fight. You wanted to find some irrational reason for him to let you go. You told yourself it was better this way. for him. He deserved someone who could handle all the things that came with dating a musician. He was too good to you and it was too little, too late to undo things. He was happy and that's all you could hope for. He deserved it after you. But, you couldn't help the feeling that you got deep in your chest seeing that someone else had made him happy. Knowing he was happier with her. After the break up, you had decided to stay in Toronto and finish out college. Hell, you up and left your hometown because you believed you were in love. You didn't want to go back home and face everyone. So, you had gotten a flat with Tara. You got up after reminiscing about the past; spotting a cute brunette by the bar. Tara followed your line of sight as you scooted out of the booth. "Come on, (Y/N), drinking yourself blind and fucking random people isn't going to make any of this go away!" you just flipped her off as you made your way over to the girl. This wasn't a healthy way to deal with things. It's not like either of you did anything irredeemable. It was your goddamn fault you were miserable. It was your goddamn fault that you hurt him; that he'd given up any hope on trying to repair whatever was left of your relationship. You were ready to leave the bar with Sara, she had supplied her name after you asked her to come back to your place. All you cared about was being fucked until you felt numb. You stumbled out of the front entrance, ignoring Tara's calls after you as you stepped out into the cold, November air. You were spirialling down a path you didn't think you'd come back from all because of some stupid mistake.


End file.
